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Infertility is hard enough for any woman to deal with – for a needle phobic the idea of being prodded & poked makes the journey even more daunting. The reason I mention my phobia is to reassure anyone about to embark on this journey that it is bearable! A picnic? No. But if a paff like me can do it, anyone can.....
On the infertility chat sites, at the end of your entry, you have a sort of resume. A brief history of all you have been through. This might seem a bit brutal at first.... “Hi my name is Suzzy – here have a look at the myriad of things wrong with my private bits!”
It is, however, quite useful really as it gives people a quick look at all your experiences -
3 years trying to conceive
Many exploratory procedures
Diagnosed with unexplained infertility
2 years later, natural pregnancy, miscarried at 12 weeks
1 year later, natural pregnancy, gave birth to a little girl who passed away at 2 days old (trisomy 18)
IVF # 1 failed
IVF # 2 failed
Currently doing IVF # 3
The last seven years have been tough to say the least. They have been challenging.... but they have also taught me that I am stronger (and braver) than I thought. They have taught me that a sense of humour is an invaluable tool in life and I am blessed that my husband and I have managed to hang on to ours throughout (sometimes barely, by a tiny little thread). There have been many times where we were presented with only 2 options – laugh or cry....
For those of you embarking on this journey, there will be tears, lots of them, and tears have their place. BUT as long as there is lots of laughter too, you will be ok.
Before each procedure, each injection, each “investigation” I would search the net for any info I could find. I wished I could find someone who would be honest yet positive, funny yet sensitive, informative yet interesting. I just wanted to know – I wanted to be ready and prepared for what was coming.
To hear, “I need you to relax because I am about to inject your cervix (INJECT MY WHAT???) is bad enough. To hear it while half naked, nervous and stuck in a rather compromising position is just WRONG!
It wasn't that bad by the way and THAT my friends is what I wanted to know BEFOREHAND. The fear was worse than the procedure and I was tempted to stay there all day telling the poor unsuspecting women what was about to happen but more importantly that it wasn't that bad.
This is a good example of why I am writing this blog. To anyone either starting or already on this journey I hope that I will be able to provide answers for some of the questions I had or merely share my experiences. Some of my entries will relate to my current situation but many will cover my past experiences in no particular order. I will warn you when the content may be sensitive to regular folk (you have a whole different outlook on modesty when undergoing infertility treatment.) I will warn you when I am having a bad day and am particularly grumpy (one of the few perks, you can always blame it on the hormones). But hopefully, above all, I will inform you and if nothing else – entertain you.